Nathan Blaszak's Blog

I’m often quite amazed by people when they contact me asking how they can get what they want when desire alone is the cause of all problems we experience.

There was a man that came to me wondering how he could approach women and be more successful. He wanted to know what he could do so that he could introduce himself to women easily.

When I gave him the advice to just

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be good at introducing himself to women, he looked at me like he wanted to kill me. After all, I’ve been teaching men how to pick up women for years, and this is the best (or obvious) advice I could give him?

What this fellow wasn’t aware of is that when you’re able to quiet the mind, you’re able to quiet feelings, and that desire to be able to do anything gets released. When there is no desire to accomplish your goals, you simply let go, and let happen.

What most people don’t realize is that when you have a thought it’s instantly manifested and the reason why most people don’t see that it gets manifested instantly is because they have subconscious programming that says otherwise.

Like this gentleman, subconsciously he wasn’t aware that he had programming that led him to be unsuccessful at introducing himself to women. With some further talking, we were able to uncover the feeling of safety.

With his desire to be safe, he desired to approach women, introduce himself to them – yet he was running away from one thing (danger) while trying to become another (successful). He was shocked when I had pointed out to him that because of desire he was unable to be good at introducing himself to women.

“So what then?” He asked with a confused look on his face. “If I don’t desire to be able to do this then it won’t happen.” He continued to resist. As he looked at me I noticed his face change into one of curiosity when I looked at him in the eye and said “When you don’t desire, you already are. Since you are, you am, I am, I am, then you’re everything and anything because you are already.”

In other words, feelings and emotions (such as desire and want) is only saying “I don’t have” or “I am not yet” or “I haven’t done”. The hidden language cancels out the opportunity to experience what we desire physically. If we do manage to experience anything we go after based on desire, it’s always a painful experience that’s loaded with all sorts of baggage.

Instead, it’s much more effective to begin to identify with who we are first, and when that happens we can easily see that we can’t NOT be us, there is no finding out who we are, we are who we are every moment of our lives – infinite, limitless, abundant, peaceful.

So I said to him “Imagine you’re watching yourself as you watch other people. Soon enough, you will realize when you see that woman why you do what you do (or why you don’t do what you want to do) by simply observing.”

What happens when we begin to see ourselves objectively like this is it forces us to accept responsibility for our life and circumstances. We begin to realize that our thoughts are what make our experience physically – all the way down to atoms.

Allow me to give you an example: I had been in a situation where my main thoughts were lack, struggle, defeat, frustration… each day I would have these images in my mind (on a general level) and I started to behave in non-productive ways. As the bills piled up, the passion in my relationships dimmed, and all seemed to be out of my control, I began to observe what I was doing by actively watching myself as an observer.

Not only did I “see” myself as others would see me, I would see myself as I would talk with others so that I was actually hearing what I had to say to them as if I was saying to myself. This simple act of observing myself made it easy for me to begin to see what it was that I was doing subconsciously by habit. Once I was able to identify the behaviors I was doing, it was easy to become aware of and to identify the thoughts I was having. Once you’re able to see what thoughts you’re having, you can then begin to see where those feelings are coming from.

In other words, feelings and thoughts are programs. That’s it. Everything right down to the wire in your experience you are creating with your thoughts and feelings. The moment you decide to change your thought, your experience changes instantly.

When I would see myself sitting on the sofa to grab the remote control to watch TV – since I was observing myself, I began to question my behavior. Why was I doing this? I mean, I wasn’t even thinking about doing it, it just seemed to be happening without me thinking about it. As I kept on questioning this, I found out that almost every “automated” behavior was because I had wanted or desired something. Deep down inside, I had desired peace.

While my MIND thought the best way to find peace was to watch TV, I had realized that I didn’t have to find peace at all. And, in fact, just “being” is peaceful… a constant state of calmness. The less I began to identify with my mind and the external world, the more I began to identify with “I.”

It was only a matter of time before I realized that all I had needed to do to get started was to just be me “in joy in myself” in the moment, and to have anything was simply a matter of allowing it to happen because I was already everything, and anything and everything was mine already.

This man then took what I had to say and began to use it. I told him that I didn’t expect him to realize all this based on just taking my word for it. Instead, I challenged him to watch what he did, what his thoughts were, and what happened through thought and feeling as he thought about introducing himself to a woman that he wanted to talk to.

A week later this man contacted me again. He walked into my office smiling from ear to ear. He looked at me and said “Nathan, I’m great at introducing myself to women. I’ve always known what to do. I’ve always been good at it.”

Who knows what his experience was? He spared me the details. But I’m willing to bet it probably went something like this (as he observed himself as others would observe him):

“Okay you’re standing here looking at her. You aren’t doing anything. What the heck does that thought have anything to do with me being great at introducing myself to women? Hmmm… Why do I desire this? What happens if I let that desire go and just let it happen? Courage. Be the doer. I’m doing it. Just do it and see what happens.”

As you can see, you have more of an advantage to see yourself through as others would see you. You can then take notice in thoughts and feelings (by observing them) and releasing those feelings and thoughts that are preventing you from getting what you want.

After all, you need not to want anything. You already have anything you want the moment you give thought or have an idea about it. It is instantly yours.

Decide this to be true, let go of all feelings of safety, stop wanting, and just decide it’s yours, and let it happen.